Archaeologists have somehow managed to keep secret the discovery of an ancient tomb uncovered in San Ignacio Town, but a curious journalist stumbled upon it and intends to reveal the secret immediately. Within the tomb, remains of a noble king were found in addition to treasures that reveal a lot about his life.
Linguists have been able to make sense of the glyphs that appear to state the king’s name as Eatstoomuch. According to officials at the National Institute of Culture and History (NICH) who insist upon having their identities hidden, scientists have been reluctant to broadcast news of this recent find for several reasons.
First, archaeologists admit to feeling foolish that this tomb had been hiding in plain sight ever since it was abandoned in the 9th Century, at about the same time the 34 structures making up Cahal Pech were also deserted.
Additionally, artifacts, skeletal remains and ritual items found within this tomb have left authorities baffled. Apparently, this king loved eating more than he liked governing, which is why they found so many plates, pots, bowls, petrified avocado pits and corncobs, they could barely move around the tomb due to so much clutter.
King Eatstoomuch had a passion for chocolate, say scientists analyzing everything they uncovered. Evidence of roasted beans and vessels designed for worshipping the god of cacao were also found within this tomb. “This king had a serious eating problem,” said our source when we asked for additional insights that could give us a window into the life of this heretofore unknown king.
“Even his throne was nearly twice as large as those we have found at other ancient ruins throughout Belize. He must have been one hefty dude. We found a giant carving of Yum Caax, the maize god, too. This ruler was obviously a fan, but who doesn’t love corn and chocolate?” he added.
Can you visit this remarkable new site if you happen to be visiting San Ignacio or Cahal Pech? Unfortunately, the answer is no for one very good reason: King Eatstoomuch and his food-filled tomb are April Fool’s Day pranks we thought you would enjoy reading about this year!
That said, don’t miss your opportunity to visit Cahal Pech Village Resort and drink a toast to the mythical king on April 1st if you love food as much as he did. Make sure you eat your fill of corn and chocolate in his honor, too!
